ian's journal
by RandomChickInYourBushs
Summary: ten one shots about what could be going inside ian's head


Ian's diary

This takes place in multiple parts during the book and after.

_**Day 1**_

Ok well just to make this clear this is not a diary. This is a man journal. Diary's are for wimps and or girls. Just to make that clear. I mean, if my brother Kyle would find out I'm writing in this thing my life would turn from barely bearable to flaming hell. I would never get the end of it. But then again I would have done the same thing to him.

I pressed myself against the bolder I was hiding behind, sweet trickled down my neck and my lunges complained as the dry desert air entered. I allowed myself a peak beyond. The house was quiet. Even though the silence was so loud, it pounded in my ears, making it hard to hear anything with my speeding heart added to the equation.

Kyle hasn't come out for a long time now. And I was worried, really worried.

But then my worries seemed to evaporate as I saw him sprinting out of the front door. He caught my gaze and I understood. It was time to run. So I did.

We ran and ran until we arrived to the small cave we were using for shelter.

We where eating when he came in.

He had small lanky shoulders and a white beard. But it wasn't Santa. We jumped up, ready knok him out and make a break for it.

"now , now." He said. he raised something to his eyes.

A flash light. I tensed, expecting a silver refection. But there was non. He smiled. "hay now." He said. "I'm Jeb. And im here to help."

I looked at Kyle and Kyle looked at me.

And we both smiled.

_**Day 2**_

I woke up somewhere near sun rise. Having no watch has grown on everyone here. So we just use the sun to tell us the time. Although the sun wasn't the reason I woke up. It almost never is. Now it's mostly my brothers snoring. You try sleeping with someone who sounds like a lawnmower running over a squirrel. Anyway, I stood up and grabbed the first clean shirt and pants I could find. I stepped over my brother and headed for the showers.

After feeling refreshed and completely awake I strode to the kitchen and grabbed a plate, filling it with scrambled eggs. Like always half way through breakfast my brother came barging in and threw a tantrum about why I didn't wake him up. I just told him to calm down and shoved some bred into his clenched hands. Typical morning. After that me Rayne, Wes, Kyle, Roth Ann, Aaron and Brandt worked at the fields for what seemed like forever.

By the time the sun started to set Me, Kyle, Wes and Jared where goofing around and just having fun. As much fun you can have when you lived past the end of the world.

Dinner flew past and me and Kyle went back to our room for sleep. Right now I'm sitting on my matt, writing. While Kyle made the walls vibrate from the sounds erupting from his throat.

Well I'm exhausted.

Peace out.

_**Day 3**_

I have so many things on my mind right now. I really don't know what to do. No one expected this to happen.

I was working in the fields with almost everyone in the caves. It was an extremely hot day, and I was practically swimming in my own sweat. My hair stuck to my forehead and my shirt was long gone. My mind was on automatic like it always does when I zone out. Shove the shovel in. flip the soil. Shove the shovel in. flip the soil. Shove the….well you get it.

Everyone where working like a hive of bees, each one on a different tusk, working in perfect harmony with the other. That was until Aaron came sprinting in. I stopped working and looked in confusion at him, as did all the others.

"I…" He heaved, His chest rising and falling slowly as he struggled to catch his breath. "Someone… out... There… past out … by the tree." he slurred.

I froze. Someone was out there? Who could it be? Aaron didn't mention anyone else. What if it was another human? What if it was a seeker? No it can't be a seeker. No soul with the right mind would go for a hike in the middle of nowhere. But my mind still considered the possibility. What if it was a trick, what if they wanted us to get out of hiding to check it out and then they would stop right there. I told myself. I'm eventually going to kill myself with all these questions.

The whole cave shook with the eco of the shouts and screams and angry voices that everyone where producing. I saw Lucinda pull her kids close to her, Aaron comforting a hysterical Paige. Kyle came next to me and asked me what I think it was. Emphasis on it. I told him that quite frankly, I didn't know. After a lot of arguing and yelling we came to a conclusion that we need to go see who or what it was. We all knew we were risking our lives and our hiding place but we needed to know. So at midnight me, Kyle, Maggie, Jeb, Aaron, Brandt, Riley and Wes set out.

We hiked for a little and after an hour or so we arrived. Under a shrivel tree was laying a girl. She was probably in her early twenties. Jeb kneeled down and set a bottle of water to her lips. She drank it down and then another one. And then another one. Just when she was about to open her eyes Jeb told us to scatter, so we did. I was all but about to burst out screaming from the suspense. I was having a hushed argument with Kyle (Then again make that a not so hushed argument with Kyle.) when Jeb came back. I was about to ask him what it was but a glimpse of his poker face told me more then I needed to know.

Red hot fury spread in my vines. This alien, this filthy body snatcher took our plant away from us. Stole the lives of every single person we loved. Forced us to live like wild animals, to change into the blood thirsty killers it made us out to be. And yet it had the nerve to come waltzing into our only home. If you could even call it that. My hands twitched, wanting to wrap around its neck and show it just how much it made us suffer.

Kyle didn't have the same restraint as I did. After only a few words were exchanged he stepped forward, raising his machete, intending to free the poor body from its misery.

And Jeb stopped him. He **stopped **him. Needless to say I was shocked. Why would Jeb pull a gun on Kyle, a human, to protect a worm? He should have hated it more everyone. It took his nieces life away from her. I went into deeper shock when he said he was taking it inside. Of course nobody took it well.

I had this feeling in the back of my head. like I should know who the body the parasite was wearing originally belonged to. But I couldn't make a connection. And then the connection was made for me. When the parasite spotted Jared its eyes went big as satellites. It flung its body forward at Jared direction. When she was centimeters from him he smashed his back hand into her face. And then I knew who it was. The girl the body used to belong to was Melanie. Jamie's lost sister and Jared's mate. I have always been a little jealous of Jared but now, yah not so much.

All I want right now is that parasite gone. It doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as us. I mean why is it even here? It probably gave us all in to the seekers so that its friends can kill us too. And then it can live happily ever after with the parasites in Jared's and Jamie's body.

Yah, it didn't deserve to live.

And I will personally make sure it won't.

Ian out.

_**Day 4**_

It all started when I went with Kyle and Brandt to finish the job that everyone in the caves wanted done.

We arrived at the place they where keeping it and braced ourselves because we knew that Jared wouldn't go down without a fight.

And a fight there was. Punches and well aimed kicks where thrown until something no one expected to happen happened. The parasite jumped up from its hole and stood squared shoulders in front of Jared. It said it is what we wanted. Well that just got us madder. Another fight. More punches. More kicks. And the parasite landed right in front of me.

Kyle's yell is still echoing in my mind as I write.

"Finish it Ian!"

I didn't hesitate when my palms wrapped around its neck, squeezing with all my might. Its face twisted in pain and its eyes became desperate, terrified as it tried to break free of my death grip.

You want to know a secret. I was afraid.

Yes I admit. I, the one that was squeezing the life out of two creatures set in one. Me, the one that must have looked like a savage a wild, untamed, cruel creature. But that was on the I was terrified. How did I get to this position? How did I bring myself to becoming this killer? , This monster. I didn't want be a monster. I wanted my world back. My family, my life. I wanted to be able to take my brother to the hospital so he could finally fix his nose. I wanted to be able to walk in the street without having to fear my life. I want to meet the one. Start a family. To live while I'm alive. But I can't, because my dreams where crushed by leeches that murdered for a living. And they called US killers. But when I saw that expression on her face, I felt bad. Really bad. I was giving myself permission to take someone's life from them. And I didn't want to. It wasn't right. What the hell am I thinking? I told myself. I wasn't supposed to feel this way. This thing murdered my family. Leaving me alone with Kyle. I was supposed to hate it. But I didn't. The worms that killed my family aren't this one. This one …. That look. I will never forget that look. I was saved by Jeb, who came running in and clicking his gun at us.

After what happened I went straight to my room and locked the door. I was feeling guilty of trying to kill her. The feeling was just so strong. It spread inside of me. Stretching to every direction, starting from my heart and consuming everything in its path. I can't believe I was about to kill her. Like I said before I don't want to be a killer. I don't want to be the blame of a pair of arms that will never feel again. Pair of legs that will never move again, A pair of eyes that will never see again, A heart that would never beat again.

I vowed to myself never to see that expression again. To know that I was the reason she wouldn't have an again. So I decided to protect her. And I will do my best to keep her alive.

Night

_**Day 5**_

Her name was wanderer.

She is kind and funny. She is interesting and intelligent. Her stories are something I could listen to forever. She is not like everybody else. She is different, other. She doesn't care what people think about her. She will always want to help even if she is exhausted. She is….my friend.

I don't how it happened so don't ask. we became friends. A human and a soul. I didn't know it was possible until now. Well everything can change I guess.

I just can't get her off my mind. Her smile seems to light up the whole universe, her laugh rings through my ears like an enchanting melody. It's as if the reason I wake up in the morning is her.

My whole day rearranged itself. It was now all about her. If she was backing then I would be sitting next to her, Even though it was so hot in that spot that my skin was melting off my arms. If she was in the fields that I would be there, helping her. On the times I couldn't be with her I would try to finish as soon as I can. It's like when I'm not with her, my heart hurts. And when I see her, the colors are more vivid, my heart becomes a race car, and the beat of it is all I can hear as it thumps in my ears.

This evening, when we were in the room, I tried to talk about it with Kyle.

It didn't go well.

He completely freaked out. He started yelling at me. He asked how could I betray my parents, my sister and the entire human race by falling in love with a worm.

I was so shocked I didn't even answer. I just stood there with my jaw dropped and my eyes so huge it hurt.

Was I in love with Wanda?

It was like a bomb exploded inside my head, leaving everything inside a huge mess of confusion.

I slowly closed my eyes. As always her face danced across my closed eyelids. Her contiguous smile was plastered across her face showing off a strait row of pearly white teeth. Ski slope nose that was scrunched up the way it always did when she smiled. But, her eyes where what I liked most about her. The most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Brown and moss green molded together. Although what made them beautiful was the silver ring around the pupil .which sparkled like a million tiny stars. Her eyes were like a sum up of her whole being. They were kind, tender, intelligent and calm. If Kyle ever read this he would probably punch me in the face and call me a sappy, cliché, cheesy, hopeless romantic. But I've always been like that.

Anyhow back to my story.

That was the minute it hit me. Hard. It was like someone was standing in front of me and throwing hundred pound bricks at my face.

I'm in love with Wanda. My friend, a soul, a target for almost every human on the planet, Jared's….. Oh no. JARED. What am I going to do when he comes back? I'm in deeply in love with the person inside his mate's body. And there will be no way he would just let me get her to fall for me as well.

I'm in deep mud. And I'm not getting out anytime soon.

Lord help us all.

_**Day 6**_

Today was a normal day. Well kind of.

I woke up at sunrise, as usual her face flashed in my mind. I shook my head and went for the showers. I stood in line, waiting for my tern and looking around to see if I could spot her. I did. She just finished her tern. Her dark mahogany hair suck to her forehead and dripped on the floor and her clothes. Her skin shined with tiny drops of water and her whole frame was surrounded with vapor from the steaming stream that roared in back of the tunnel. I smiled and waved as my insides melted with elation. She smiled shyly and came to stand next to me. We talked for a while, I don't even remember about what. I was to focused on the sound of her voice and her eyes. When my turn came she said she'll meet me at breakfast. I just nodded and looked despondently at her retreating back.

I shower as quickly as I can. The second I was done I sprinted to breakfast. After that we both went to help doc in the hospital wing. Mostly I goofed around and she laughed. How I loved her laugh. Doc looked at us often and shook his head, a timid smile on his face.

The rest of the day past and I walked Back to my room. I tried to sleep. I really did. But it didn't work. A feeling tugged in my gut. This is the calm before the storm. Something big is going to happen. I don't know what, but I do know that I need to be prepared. So I just lay on my mat looking at the shadows that danced on the thorny ceiling. When that didn't help I decided to write in here. I haven't done it in a while.

Ugh. I think I'll try to sleep again. Sweet dreams.

_**Day 7 **_

I'm freaking out. Ugh, what do I do? Kyle, Jared and the guys are back from the ride. I've been dreading this moment. They came back while Wanda was having her class. Let's just say it didn't go well. Jared wanted to shoot her. I almost fainted. They can't take her away from me. They just couldn't. Ill literally die. I can't go one hour without her. How could I lose her for a day, a month, a year? By the time I was able to shut my inside Babel I was breathing so hard I was practically hyper venting. Without thinking I threw myself in front of her. Ready to take on everyone or everything they throw her way. Luckily Jeb was smart enough to stop carrying the gun around and hide it somewhere safe. That way no one could make a hasty diction. They didn't take that well and I knew I would get it from Kyle later.

I knew he figured it out. He knew I didn't just throw myself in front of anyone. Heck I didn't throw myself in front of him. Though later never came, Even now. I wonder where he is. Maybe he …..what was that? It's as if something is grinding against the wall. Oh no. Wanda. Kyle.

Gotta go.

_**Day 8**_

I can't believe it.

My brother.

My own brother. How could he? How could he betray me like this?

If you don't understand I'll explain it to you. Well, I'll try to. Though I'm pretty sure I'll punch the next person that I see.

When Kyle found out about me being in love with Wanda, he decided that is it. He was done. He wouldn't put up with someone who stole his world, his friends, hi family and his Jody. And now she was trying to steal me away as well.

For those thoughts I smacked him. I yelled at him and scream at him and we got physical well let's just say a lot.

I can't believe he did this to me. My brother, my twin brother. He is an unseparateabel part of me. Heck we share the same blood. How could he not care about me, my feelings, what I want?

Since the end of the world we traveled together. Knowing all we have left is each other. He knew that all I wanted was to find the one. And start a life with her. Why didn't he care about this?

I'm never going to forgive him. If he can spit on what I want and try to take away the only think that makes me happy again, that makes my pathetic life worth a while, then I don't care if he is my brother. I won't talk to him ever again.

_**Day 9**_

I haven't written in here for what seems like forever.

I don't even want to write in this stupid, useless thing. Kyle made me do it. He found out about this and said that it will help me to talk about it. But it won't! Nothing will ever make it better. I might as well go give myself up to the souls and have on shoved into my brain.

Ok. Wand…**she** decided to leave the planet, to leave me, just so she could give Melanie her body back. What hurts me the most is that she thought she could keep it a secret. One day here, the next, gone. I found out because she was talking to sunny, the soul they put in Kyle's old girlfriend Jody. When I her say she had to go, it was like everything around me turned black. I couldn't see, couldn't hear, and couldn't feel, anything, just those words. They spun around me, wrapped around me, successfully suffocating me. The eco got louder and louder. My stomach churned painfully. I felt like I was going to hurl. And then she called my name. That one tiny little word brought me back. And then the nausea was replaced by fury. A kind of fury I never felt before. It burned down to the core of my bones. My vision tinged red. I held out my hand to her. Having to fight my muscles that wanted to curl into fists and pound the next person I see unconscious.

When she didn't get up, I grabbed her and yanked her up, hard. But sunny stuck to her like thy where super glued together. I shook them until that leech finally decided to let go. Kyle stood up ready to defend her. So I kicked him in the nose. I was so fuming that I was surprised steam wasn't coming out of my ears. I jerked her towards the way out. I'm getting her out of here, now. That al I thought as I tightened me grip on her upper arm. Just when we were about to exit the hospital Jared stepped in my way. He said I was going to hurt her. You get it? Me. I'm going to hurt her. Ya right! Sais the hypocrite that would kill her, and a thousand more of her just to get his stinking mate back. My hands automatically went on their own. Before I could even think, my fist smashed into his face. I didn't even stay to see his reaction I sprinted down the corridor pulling her after me. When I heard her whimper I stopped. I was scaring her. So I pulled her into my arms and sprinted again while cradling her to my chest. The thought of me not being able to that ever again made me run faster. When we arrived to my room I kicked the doors open. Thy flung open so hard the noise didn't seem right in the deserted hall. I dropped her on the mat and just stared at her. As if as long as I could see her she'll is ok. She will be here, with me, where she belongs. And that's when the anger faded away, Leaving in its place hurt, bitterness and sadness. I collapsed, wrapping my arms around her tiny waist and sobbed into her stomach. She tried to comfort me. It only made her cry as well. We talked. I mostly begged for her to stay and she said she couldn't. and then she did something surprising. She kissed me. And everything melted away. All this time I was looking for the one, while she was right In front of me.

I won't let her leave me.

Even if I have to die in the process.

_**Day 10**_

Finally.

No more drama. No more hurt. No more anger.

Life has finally settled down. With Wanda in her new body and Melanie in her own everything calmed down.

Summer has finally ended and winter has come in its full glory. The caves have become a peaceful full of harmony place yet again. Jared and Melanie have been going strong ever since Wanda has come back.

Me and Wanda…. We are taking it slowly.

Finally the happy ever after has arrived, and im on cloud nine.

Have a beautiful life

Signed,

Ian.


End file.
